Nolan Hairr
"Kiss me" - Nolan to some puppies Detective Nolan Hairr is a major protagonist in the Smartiest Persons Universe. He serves in the investigative department of the Smartiest Persons as the chief detective. He is close friends with the inner circle of SP, including Vincent Bush, Paolo Martinez, Greg Fields, and Logan Hall. Hairr often solves minor cases all around the country, but he has sometimes investigated larger, more sinister schemes. Sometimes he even helps the main members of SP square off against the members their infamous rouge gallery. Nolan also possesses spectacular combat skills for an average human, being trained in 47 exotic forms of martial arts. Story Early Life Nolan Hairr had a fairly normal childhood. Born in Russia, he was always focused on achieving his goals. Ever since Hairr was a child, he was fascinated with the idea of solving mysterious cases. He was exceedingly good at mystery-type games. This eventually led to his dream of becoming a professional private eye. At a very early age, Nolan left Russia to come to America, the land of the free and the home of the brave. There he would attend an advanced education course in preparation for his future career. Training with the Police After Nolan finished up school, he started training to be a part of the police crime investigation team. He poured years into his training, all while taking several courses of advanced martial arts. When he finally landed a spot on the team, Nolan helped solve many cases dealing with national security. The leader of the team was impressed by Nolan's skills and had him promoted to commissioner. Nolan, however, did not like this job, as he felt that he was being controlled by several authorities. So Hairr resigned and formed made a name for himself as a private eye. Forging His Own Identity In the first two months, Nolan's business as a detective did not go as planned. He was crammed into a tiny office/living space in a dark New York alley. He saw as little as 2 customers a week, who only brought up unnecessary cases about things like missing wallets. Things were really looking bleak for Nolan, who even considered at one point quitting. But then, one stormy night, Hairr's business received the big break it needed. Nolan was sitting in his office playing online Monopoly when a young woman in shaggy clothes burst into the room. She was a single mother who could barely afford to pay for a lackluster apartment. Her two children had gone missing hours prior, and the police refused to search for them because they claimed they were "too busy". Now she had come to Nolan because she did not have much to spend for investigation charges. Nolan immediately jumped on the case out of sympathy. Using his detective skills, he was able to find out that the two children, along with several other missing children cases from the police, had been randomly chosen for some sort of sinister plot. Tracking the evidence to the Empire State Building, he found out that the dozens of children kidnapped had been experimented on by rouge Kilber Klone Inc scientists. The scientists were trying to create Kilber Klones using the children to reduce growth time, but the process was killing the children. Hairr sprung into action, taking out over half of the mad scientists. But some of the scientists grabbed machine guns and brought some of the kids (involving the woman's kids) outside onto the roof of the skyscraper. Nolan jumped outside into the pouring rain, rescuing some of the kids and breaking the scientists' ankles. When Nolan sprinted towards the remaining one scientist, the scientist violently grabbed the woman's kids and climbed onto one of the steel gargoyles, threatening to drop them. Nolan, acting quickly, pulled a handgun from his belt and shot the guy in the shoulder. The guy dropped both the children and fell back onto the roof in pain. Hairr jumped off after the screaming children. After grabbing both of them mid-air, Nolan pulled a hooked rope from his belt and used it to cling to the building, saving himself and both of the kids. By the next morning, all of the children had been returned to their families and the scientists were sent to prison. Nolan returned to his cramped apartment only to be visited by the woman and her children. As the woman pulled out her wallet, Nolan told her that payment was not necessary because he thought they could use the money. After they left, Nolan was stunned to see that he made the front page of the New York Times. Several reporters and grateful families came to his office to get interviews and express their thanks. This popularity made much more people come to him for him, thus bettering his business. He even got noticed by the Smartiest Persons, who were at the time looking for the same rouge scientists that Nolan took out. Meeting Hailey One day someone named Hailey was just walking along the sidewalk when men came from nowhere and knocked her unconscious and kidnapped her. After a day a friend reported this to Detective Nolan. He then decided to go after her as he was desperate for a woman. He managed to track her down to a certain warehouse and went in stealthily. However, he failed as he fell into a trap. Hailey then woke up as the anesthesia she was given wore off. She easily broke from her restraints and managed to take out most of the guards present. She stumbled upon an embarrassed Nolan as he was supposed to be saving her. Hailey got him out and then they proceeded to talk and they started to like each other. Nolan was quite impressed with Hailey's skill. He was not only impressed with her combat skills but her detective skills to get him out of the complex trap. He decided he was infatuated with her. So he asked her to join him at his detective agency. Hailey was sorely disappointed as she thought he was gonna ask her out but agreed anyway. He then surprised her the next day asking her out and she agreed. Vacation to Keaoi Island The Maddening Case of the Missing Children After solving several other huge cases for the NYPD, Nolan and Hailey decided that they needed a break from work. After putting up a notice about their absence from office, they decided to take a vacation to Hawaii. Nolan and Hailey booked a hotel near Ocean View and began to enjoy their vacation. That was, until Nolan heard on the news about some kids that went missing near Keaoi Island. Nolan's detective instinct instantly kicked in, and he went to investigate. While Hailey was out sight-seeing, Nolan got a tour guide to take them as close to the island has they could via boat. But the guide would not take Nolan to the island because it was closed off to the public due to the recent missing children incident. So Nolan jumped off of the boat and swam to the island. Upon arriving on the shore, Nolan looked around him and saw literally nothing. He wandered around the small island for a bit and then sat down at the beach. Absolutely nothing was adding up. No signs of the kids or the kidnapper. So Nolan swam back to the boat and was taken back to his hotel. However, for the rest of the trip, Hairr could not get his mind off of the missing children. So five days later, Nolan returned to Keaoi Island to look around again. This time, he stopped at the Hawaiian Police Station first to pick up the case files to bring with him to the island. Once again on Keaoi's beach, Nolan sat down and started studying the case files. Five different children from five different families with no connection at all. No connection, until Nolan looked closely at the pictures of the children. They were all wearing bright and shiny clothing. So Hairr left the island, bought a very sparkly gold spandex outfit (with Hailey's money), and then returned once again to Keaoi. Crab-napped This time, when Nolan returned to the shores wearing a gold spandex, he felt an ominous presence looming over him, or rather below him. Not even five minutes on the beach and a humongous crab arm emerged from the sand and dragged the detective into the caverns below. Hours later, Nolan Hairr woke up in a cave surrounded by piles of treasure. He was tied up and hung from the ceiling, and with him, four out of the five missing children. Nolan asked the kids where the fifth one was, and they gestured to another cave right next to them. There, reveling in a pool of endless treasure, was a 50-foot tall coconut crab, feasting on the bones of the fifth child. Nolan was horrified and puked, which didn't give the kids much hope at all. But after taking a few minutes to find his own courage again, he assured the kids that he had a plan. Later, the coconut crab went back to pick another victim to eat. It chose one of the kids and returned to its private cavern. But when it left, only three victims remained tied up. Nolan had used his knife to cut his way out and hopped onto the gigantic crab's back. He cut into the crab's shell, but the crab knocked him off. Nolan pulled out his Russian Nagant M1895 (which Hailey had given him for his birthday) and shot the crab in his right eye. Partially blinded, the crab rammed into the wall and caused a cave-quake. Nolan signaled for the kids to follow him and then left the cave. The crab, still partially blinded, tried chasing the group but then got crushed to death by falling boulders. Returning the Children Nolan returned to the main island to met with the police, the childrens' families, and Hailey. The parents were ecstatic to see their children alive, except for the parents of the ones who died. The police thanked the detective, although Hailey was slightly angry at him for using her money to but a golden spandex. Regardless, the two of them enjoyed the rest of their Hawaiian vacation in peace. The Clone Conspiracy Nolan was relaxing after dealing with the giant crab, but Sam Kundargi, the bounty hunter, attacked him. Nolan was a good fighter, but not nearly good enough for Sam. Sam captured Nolan, and created a clone of him! Sam put a clone in Nolan's place while keeping Nolan locked up to create more clones. Sam created an army of Nolan Clones and then dumped Nolan into the Pacific Ocean. When Nolan made his way back to his home, he found out that the first Nolan Clone had replaced him! Hailey told him that she realized quickly that the Nolan Clone wasn't the real Nolan, but didn't know what to do about it. Nolan and Hailey then attacked and captured the Nolan Clone. Months later, Nolan was approached by three Nolan Clones named Nolan Yellow, Blue, and Red. They told Nolan that they tried to kill John Barr, but had failed because he had made clones of himself. Nolan wasn't going to help them at first, but Hailey thought that he should, so he agreed to help. The Clones took him to the base where they found the John Barr clone, and Nolan began investigating. He immediately noticed footprints on the floor that led him to a secret room farther away from the room where the Clones had first met the Clone. The secret room had a transmitter that Nolan tracked to Los Angeles, California. Nolan Red seemed annoyed by this fact, but Nolan didn't know why. He and the Clones decided to travel to Los Angeles. They did, and when they arrived they found Dillon Scott! Nolan immediately didn't trust him, but the Clones did. They split up into groups and searched around. Soon, they all ended up in John Barr's clutches. Dillon turned out to be a clone, just as Nolan predicted, and killed Nolan Yellow. Nolan was happy that the amount of his clones was decreasing, but Nolan Blue and Red weren't as happy about it. John set them free to fight the Dillon Clone to the death, and they ended up winning. He wanted to send John to prison, but Blue and Red were so adamant about killing John Barr that he let them. That was the end of the Clone Conspiracy.Category:Main Characters Category:Heroes